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  • The lollipop

    Mid evening, dark outside, wintery cold time of year, and there’s a gentle tapping on the front door and giggling voices.

    Strange, I thought, as no one usually calls in an evening, must be local kids, usual prank, ‘ knock and run’, or more updated, modern and lazier version doing the rounds of ‘knock and couldn’t be bothered to run!’

    So, decided to investigate. Crept to the door, and opened it in a much gusto way…like ‘taadaaah’.

    And at first I couldn’t see anyone, then realised looking down towards the ground were two young kids each holding plastic bags.

    One, positively ‘sales kid of the year’ (and yes, it’s only early January!) politely asks if I would like to buy a ‘bag of sweets for £10.00?

    Now, my modern day of living I find I just don’t possess cash in pocket anymore and noting they can’t accept credit or debit card payments I just politely replied, “I’m sorry, I just have no money.” Being so impressed by their entrepreneurial prowess and determination of these two young kids, what I was supposed to say was “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me.”

    The kid looked up at me and my ‘plight’, opened up the plastic bag of sweets, reached in, fumbling around and produced a lollipop!

    “Here, have this. You can have it for free!”

    “Thank you so much,” I replied as the lollipop was launched into my low down reaching out hand. “That’s very kind of you!”

    Closing the door, as the kids raced to the next house in the street, I felt wrecked and yet immensely proud.

    With me saying “I had no money” produced an act of kindness from a young kid who must have thought I was in a state of financial ruin and had decided to let me have one of the sweets for free!

    There’s still hope in the world!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • A New Year’s resolution..pah, that went well!

    I’ve never been one to make any form of resolution for New Year.

    Years ago, it was more of the usual, “1st January, that’s it, I’m on a diet” knowing full well that the ‘food’ excess purchases to cover the Xmas period ‘must’ be consumed before the ‘use by date’ arrives and knowing that ‘well, it’s only a short lived over indulgence’ which will go back to normal calorie intake soon…hopefully. ( in reality, it never does!)

    So, not being one to make resolutions, and as I sleep poorly overall, reaching the magnificent lengths of maximum five hours sleep per night, I told myself as others can get a longer sleep pattern that from 1st January, this has to change.

    Now, I’m not saying to sleep in all day, not even all morning to lunch time, but going to bed at around midnight, it would be satisfying to wake at seven rather than silli-o-clock each morning.

    Therefore my one and only resolution for the year was (not is) to get a better, more settled night’s sleep and if I do wake up, to try my best to stay settled, relaxed and undertake the recently read article that to lie there with an empty head (ok.. can achieve that as it’s empty most times 😵‍💫😁) and pick any letter of the alphabet and think of all the things beginning with that letter then one will quickly doze off to sleep.

    Fine in theory. I tried. But the letter Q and then X I chose as my letters to think of all the words I could find was too limited and as I got more frustrated, I found that the process of trying to think of a more meaningful letter was making the cogs inside my walnut whirr leaving me going into ‘wake up completely’ rather than ‘go back to sleep mode!’

    Hence, I got up as usual (five hours sleep) and gave up on my New Year resolution venture, being just too complex for me to achieve!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • Packs of ‘I don’t really need that many!’

    Ahh someone’s birthday in January!

    Birthday card bought. Stamps. Can’t find any stamps in the house.

    Local store, no stamps.

    Larger supermarket, as I needed to dispose of old batteries and to buy just a few items which were non Christmassy related as it’s still Twixmas or Crimb Limbo time of year; aka no booze, no food, no biscuitty and definitely no sweety items needed, I thought ahhha, will collect stamps from here.

    “Hello, could I have a pack of first class stamps please? (Knowing they don’t sell single stamps, just in a pack of four and only wanting one, then the remaining three ‘may’ come in useful at some point of the year ahead. That is, hoping I don’t misplace them over time, at home, which is highly likely!)

    “Sorry came the reply. We’ve run out of first class stamps”

    “Really? I wonder why that is then?” I said in a light hearted manner knowing full well the reason why.

    “Oh, it’s just because of the Christmas rush and folk wanting to make sure their Christmas cards and presents got there on time!

    “Oh, ok.” was my knowingly reply. I had already guessed that!

    “We do have second class stamps though.”

    “Ahh ok can I buy four second class stamps then please?”

    “Sorry, we only sell them in eights!” came the reply from a smiley customer service person.

    Dilemma. I only wanted one. Four was a lot really, but eight?…. When will I use seven more…decisions, decisions! (The older I get, the bigger the queue behind me I notice always forms when I have to ponder and discuss in my own head the pros and cons of any dilemma!)

    I could go on a mammoth multi shop trek trying to buy a pack of four first or second class stamps elsewhere, but really, for devilment, I thought, what the heck, let’s just buy the eight and then try to work out seven more things I will need to stick stamps on so they’re not wasted! And to add to the complications of second class stamps they will no doubt need to be posted at least a month in advance to match any delivery deadline I will have in future. It all gets more complicated as I go along.

    “Oh, go on then, a pack of eight will be good, thanks,” saying it with very little conviction in my voice.

    So, purchase made, card written, second class postage stamp attached and posted in the post box, well ahead of the recipient’s birthday, so much so, they will probably misplace the card I sent by the time their birthday arrives!

    Now, where’s a safe, memorable place to keep seven stamps?

    time for a-cup-of-T ( while I think)

  • Easter eggs in December?…eh?

    Leading up the the usual 25th December mad panic to buy a years worth of groceries to make sure there’s enough of everything for that one ‘supermarket closure’ day, I noticed there were a whole year’s worth of seasonal occasions available to buy.

    Still selling dwindling supplies of Halloween costumes and artefacts at now greatly reduced ‘buy-one-get-the-rest-free’ prices, all the usual Xmassy stuff now being slightly reduced in price as it’s ‘not quite Christmas day yet’ including sad looking Xmas trees which had already started giving up the fight and losing their own needle thingies which normally keeps them green looking through to New Year. Sun creams and Summer attire for that 2026 Summertime holiday not reduced in price, obviously!. Valentines day cards and gifts on a stand all on it’s own and, wait for it, ‘Easter Eggs ‘, yaay!

    So, thinking of the grandchildren, one ten and the other five years old, (and both believers) I thought, what a jest if Santa Claus could just deliver one Easter Egg to said recipients along with the usual snow capped mountain of presents they usually receive. I wonder what their reaction would be and would they question why Father Christmas would even think of providing an ‘Easter egg at Christmas? ‘

    Well, the usual whirlwind opening frenzy of presents took place faster than anyone had the chance to photograph or video it happening and to cap it all, the Easter egg opening had a comment…’ Yess!….an Easter Egg!’ yet no mention during or after that annual whirlwind event as to ‘why on earth would Father Christmas send me an Easter Egg for Christmas?’

    My job is done!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • The ‘Library’ says….shhh!

    Christmas time..family here…silence?

    I say to six folk here in the living room,” anyone want a brew?” Silence.

    “Anyone want a brewwww?”in a more demanding yet chilled way. Nothing.

    Nothing. So nudged the first family member “Want a brew?” “Eh? Oh, erm, hmmm….erm..ok, please” …which triggered an avalanche of comments pouring down the audio waves with various requests of liquid forms. Then silence.

    Returns ten minutes later, places said requests to appropriate family members. (I did write down who wanted what just like in a cafe service as there’s no way I could ever remember six varying requests, sometimes I can’t even remember my own request for a brew I want!)

    Distributing five drinks with ‘silence’ as their replies, I nudged the sixth recipient as I placed their drink down. ” Oh, thank you!” came the response followed again by an avalanche of ‘thank yous’ from the other five. Then silence.

    I stood at the doorway of the living room looking at each of them. They were obviously engrossed with their mobile phones…face-booking, inst-a-gramming, real-reel-and-virtual-real-reel watching, bar-gain-hun-ting to name a few things I could see they were engrossed with as I placed each cup next to them. Standing their looking at them all, it was just as if they were all just strangers sat in a ‘Library,’ a ‘digital library’ engrossed in their own world, doing their own thing, in silence. There was no need to act like a Librarian authoritively and periodically saying out loud “Shhhh, this is a library, no talking” it was just silence, total silence. No communication between any family member. Just as if they were total strangers!

    I guess that’s a modern equivalent of the traditional Library, just relocated to the living room of your own home!

    now time for my own cup-of-T

  • Tiz the one in the red suit, very real!

    Father Christmas aka Santa Claus must be so confusing for children who don’t really understand what confusing means. There’s really only ‘one’ Father Christmas! Surely that’s correct?

    As Christmas approaches following dressing up evening on Halloween and being rewarded with a ton of sticky sweets for knocking on folk’s doors yelling ‘Trick or Treat’ at those who dare open their front doors. Then watching explosive sky bombs of all the colours of the rainbow and noises magically saying to the families below “Hey watch me as I light up the sky for you for a few seconds that’s just cost you £20.00 a time!

    And as soon as the last sparkler fizzles out and splutters it’s last fizzle in a nearby bucket of water, attention via grown ups then changes to decorating their houses and gardens with a multitude of ‘I can do better than you’ ornate Christmas lights from 6th November onwards as their thoughts of forthcoming Christmas time looms.

    Now, not being anti Christmas whatsoever, yet children believe in Father Christmas who secretly invades our homes in the middle of the night all around the world very very early on Christmas morning to leave presents for those who take part, to open on Christmas morning and that’s wonderful! ( Father Christmas is a kind of anti burglar, so to speak!)

    Children’s faces light up as they see the humungous amount of presents he’s carefully positioned under the pristinely decorated and lit up Christmas tree with each present carefully labelled and hand written by a parent, guardian, relative, ensuring that the correct present ends up beside the right household member, including any pets to open up following the distribution operation is completed. In a child’s mind it must be quite amazing to think that Father Christmas has the ability to write every label just like their parents, guardians and relatives write. Never challenged or questioned, just an amazing feat from the little big guy in a red suit and oversized overly fluffy white beard!

    Yet how confusing must it be for the believing child as Christmas approaches.

    There’s only one Father Christmas. Spends all year with his elves sorting through lists of children’s wishes where they are busy all year round making toys and gifts including the latest mobile phones, so very clever, and all from a workshop at the North Pole and all ready to be delivered to everyone around the world early on Christmas morning whilst everyone’s asleep. Magical, yes, truly and never challenged or questioned, so it can’t be confusing for a child?

    Thoughts inside a child’s mind with the forthcoming excitement knowing that the one and only most important person in their life at Christmas time who brings tons of presents will do so on time, on schedule, no delays and most importantly invisible. It just happens. It just does!

    So how does a child interpret the ‘Meet and Greet’ sesh Father Christmas usually does, in the lead up to Christmas? Why would he do that when he’s supposed to be overseeing mass toy production on an off-the-scale measure? Surely he knows what all children wish for as he’s magical and clever? And when each child ‘explains again’ as they’ve  already written him a letter of what they want, how on earth does he remember it all? Has he got a direct elves hot line to pass all the information on or requirements per child? And how does he know where every child lives as he never asks for their address?

    Even more so, how does a child feel seeing Father Christmas riding round a local estate where they live, on a trailer type float being pulled by a clapped out transit van chugging out diesel fumes directly into Father Christmas’s white beard and face with ‘Jingle Bells’ hammering out through over-volumed reverberating loud speakers and shouting “Merry Christmas” to anyone who dares to open their doors to watch him ‘float’ by? You’d have thought he would just be 24/7 working towards his deadline with no time to spare.

    How did the children cope when at a local ‘Meet and Greet’ sesh where very long queues built up and the organiser had to apologise infront of all adults with their excited children saying “I’m so sorry for the delays today, one of the Father Christmas’s phoned in sick!” Eh, I thought there was supposed to one be one?

    So how do young children cope with Father Christmas anomalies which crop up towards Christmas. In a very grown up way by being very dismissive as the actual event of the arrival of Father Christmas far outweighs any preconceptions that he’s more than one person. Yet they don’t challenge it, don’t question it and maybe just accept it all as if they were to mention it, the truth may come out and all that magicalness will dissolve away!

    So, the big event arrives and with a whirlwind of mayhem it’s done and dusted. Presents opened, toys being played with. ” Thank you Father Christmas!…. When’s dinner? I’m hungry!”

    now time for a cup-of-T

  • “Ding Dong..Ding Dong…bang bang bang”

    Yes..the delivery person arrives.

    The usual, overzealous and repeated door bell ringing followed by the “bang bang bang” on the door with either their fist (which must be really sore at the end of a 160 usual parcel delivery day) or their tracking phone which must be made of some totally indestructible material or a small rubber mallet they keep on their person. I sometimes think of the eventual damage affect it’s having on the front door?

    And even being in over zealous mode awaiting my arrival to it from the inside…I really can only go at one speed nowadays..aka, slow. I’m fact I feel the more over zealous they are the slower I become!

    “Hi there” I say, as I open the door trying to look the delivery person in the eye, whilst looking at the parcel being delivered and also acting discreetly, a bit like a curious giraffe (whatever one of those looks like) twisting my ‘short’ neck trying to scan the door for any obvious delivery door damage so I can pounce and say “have you done that to my door?”

    But before I could really get beyond the “hi” bit the delivery person said, ” Sorry I’m a bit late.” “That’s ok” I replied, knowing that the timing of the delivery was well within the two hour time framed delivery slot.

    “Only, there was no house number on the parcel, just the street name. So had to call my boss who looked into it and after a while told me the house number”

    “Aww that’s fine” I replied, “And thank you for taking the time to look into it and more so finding the right house number.” I was really quite impressed.

    As the parcel was scanned with the ‘indestructible tracking machine,’ I casually commented that it wasn’t a problem that the parcel had no house number, as the house has it’s own house number emblazoned on it, so it would have been easy to find.

    With that, there was this few seconds pause after my comment had been expressed and I could hear the cogs whirring like an old clapped out machine as the information received was being processed.

    As the penny dropped, the delivery person just had that light bulb moment like the one when the microwave eventually ‘pings’ and commented in a dead pan way, ” Well, yeah you do have a house number on the door, but that doesn’t really help me when there’s none on the parcel.”

    Hmmm, I thought and exclaimed in a really positive way, ” Ahh, you’re so right!” ……hmmmm

    Time for a cup-of-T

  • “I can see clearly now”…well, I should.

    A trip to the opticians.

    Simple.

    Passed all the exams with full marks and needing close and distance glasses I chose ‘a pair’ for each type.

    “Will that not confuse you,” the assistant said politely. “No, I will be fine, thank you” was my courteous reply. Remember, the customer is always right!

    I have had vari-focals in the past, a kind of one pair of glasses fits all my needs, but just so hard to wear, mainly found myself living in squirly world on a daily basis. So since that period in my life I have always chosen one pair for close up/reading, one pair for distance/driving.

    So, really, this time around, why would my choice ever confuse me?

    I really don’t like shopping of any description, so to be a part of the optical session for 30 minutes was hard work for me to cope with and after my examinations to be shown an array of probably about 3000 pairs of glasses really overwhelmed me!

    “No Sir, sorry, you can’t choose those, they are for children and those you have moved onto are more suited for women”

    See, (no pun intended) not coping at all well!

    So, being shown the selection suitable for men, I chose a pair, within five seconds.

    “Yes, thank you, that frame, shape, colour and size will be fine,” I commented, not really wanting to try them on first, which I did though after being advised to at least see how they look on my face. Which I thought, what’s the point in that, as I can’t see ‘me’ and what I look like when I’m  wearing them!

    “Yes” they are fine, thank you.

    “Which lens would you like this frame for, the readers or driving?” “Yes please,” I confidently replied.

    “Yes, but which? ” the assistant repeated

    “Both readers and driving. I like the frame so, the same frame and frame colour for both my readers and driving please.

    Which brings me right back to the assistants earlier comment, “will that not confuse you?”…..”no, I will be fine, thank you!”

    In my mind I had quickly chosen a frame which I guess I liked and as I liked them then it’s obvious I would put both types of lenses into identical looking frames. I mean, why make life simple!

    In another two years I will be going back to my opticians and following the next examination, if I need a pair of glasses for close work and a separate pair for driving, I will make sure one frame will be bright yellow, the other bright blue.

    Confuse me, the assistant said. How did the assistant know?

    Of course it confused me. The moment I put my new driving glasses on to drive home, I thought, these are no good, what has the optician done? Only then to foolishly conclude I had put put my reading glasses on! And over time, somehow I’ve managed to get them so mixed up that my driving glasses have been left in the house whilst thinking I’ve got some sort of eye defect when I’ve tried driving putting on my reading glasses instead!

    This is me though. I think, why didn’t I listen to and take good advice from the assistant? Instead of saying “no, thank you, I will be fine” I had said ” oh, why’s that?” the assistant would have very much helped me to have two year’s stress free life in the optical part of my daily routine.

    And to try to make it a tad better for me, I bought a different coloured glasses case so I knew which was in each but as they both looked the same, well, it’s obvious of the outcome!

    By the way….the customer ( in my case, as me,) isn’t always right, more likely, often wrong!…time to listen more to those who know!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • Suck it up Bobs at it again

    It’s just about Autumn time here in the UK….. Days are a little shorter now, temperatures although mild are a little bit down.

    And leaves from deciduous trees are changing into their Autumn clothes and starting to parade their Autumn attire as they drop peacefully and quietly to the ground…Lovely to see and a good reminder that the cooler months are coming soon!

    So, so peaceful to see the Autumn leaves landing on the ground silently….then Bob next door decides “That’s it, you lil buggers…you’re not staying in my garden any longer…even though they’ve only just appeared overnight…..how do I know this…..well Bob has bought himself a ‘gardening vac’…. Just like an indoor hoover only meaner and angrier which compliments Bob in his understanding of nature really!

    ‘Suck-it-up-Bob’ gets to work around his back garden area. Sucking up allsorts of stuff.. Yes..mainly leaves but obviously all small beneficial insects that start to use the leaf litter as their Winter home…. So just like a mincer that grinds chunks of meat or a wood chipper that sorts out branches, so the garden vac angrily and whiningly munches anything it can suck up it and bag it into microscopic pieces.

    I use a rake…it rakes up fallen leaves and I leave them to decompose in the adjacent borders to provide organic matter to the soil and for Winter food for birds foraging in the garden finding grubs to eat when flicking leaves over ( a funny sight to see)

    Still, Bob’s garden is once again in pristine condition…well..for a minute or two as another leaf…ooops…I mean batch of leaves fall to the ground….never mind Bob…it will keep you busy right through to December 😀

    now for a cup-of-T

  • What?…you charge for talking?… No way

    Ok, so I’m busy with my gardening business. I don’t make a lot of money but at my time of life there’s more to it than that.

    It keeps me busy, active, physically fit as I can be, mentally engaged keeping track of everything that it takes to run a small business and most importantly, happy!

    Now, my charges to customers range from some quoted work so it’s fixed every visit, say for mowing where everything is the same week in week out, to more variable gardening consisting of many different and varying gardening tasks to do on each visit, so these costs do change according to what needs doing.

    All my customers are happy with the arrangements for the gardening I have done over the last 10.5 years!…yaay!… And then, of course, there’s always one 😁

    So, at this customer’s garden where I undertake many varied tasks, the customer, by the way has done this many times, creates this type of ‘chatty blockage’ always as I’ve just finished…. Lovely to have a chat in passing, but I’m always conscious of my time and delays have a knock on effect through my planned working day.

    Now, I’m certainly not a grabber. A few minutes here and there being non productive doesn’t really matter, but when it’s a case of giving my horticultural expertise which I trained for and it’s substantial in time, then I do charge as I feel it’s all part of my gardening visit.

    It was questions asking about grass seed, lawn fertiliser, getting a better lawn, rose pruning, clematis pruning, cracked plant pot, rose diseases and staining to paving, (by others)…. It took time, my time, my expertise, my knowledge….so why not charge just a little bit more to impart this knowledge for my customer to understand and learn something new? Simple really?…well, obviously not!

    And this became an issue I’ve not encountered before.

    It was £3.00 additional cost.

    The customer complained.

    I explained.

    The customer sacked me.

    I didn’t blink an eye.

    I filled the space with a new customer on my reserve list.

    I’m happy!

    now for a cup-of-T