Telstales

Tag: Christmas

  • A New Year’s resolution..pah, that went well!

    I’ve never been one to make any form of resolution for New Year.

    Years ago, it was more of the usual, “1st January, that’s it, I’m on a diet” knowing full well that the ‘food’ excess purchases to cover the Xmas period ‘must’ be consumed before the ‘use by date’ arrives and knowing that ‘well, it’s only a short lived over indulgence’ which will go back to normal calorie intake soon…hopefully. ( in reality, it never does!)

    So, not being one to make resolutions, and as I sleep poorly overall, reaching the magnificent lengths of maximum five hours sleep per night, I told myself as others can get a longer sleep pattern that from 1st January, this has to change.

    Now, I’m not saying to sleep in all day, not even all morning to lunch time, but going to bed at around midnight, it would be satisfying to wake at seven rather than silli-o-clock each morning.

    Therefore my one and only resolution for the year was (not is) to get a better, more settled night’s sleep and if I do wake up, to try my best to stay settled, relaxed and undertake the recently read article that to lie there with an empty head (ok.. can achieve that as it’s empty most times 😵‍💫😁) and pick any letter of the alphabet and think of all the things beginning with that letter then one will quickly doze off to sleep.

    Fine in theory. I tried. But the letter Q and then X I chose as my letters to think of all the words I could find was too limited and as I got more frustrated, I found that the process of trying to think of a more meaningful letter was making the cogs inside my walnut whirr leaving me going into ‘wake up completely’ rather than ‘go back to sleep mode!’

    Hence, I got up as usual (five hours sleep) and gave up on my New Year resolution venture, being just too complex for me to achieve!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • Packs of ‘I don’t really need that many!’

    Ahh someone’s birthday in January!

    Birthday card bought. Stamps. Can’t find any stamps in the house.

    Local store, no stamps.

    Larger supermarket, as I needed to dispose of old batteries and to buy just a few items which were non Christmassy related as it’s still Twixmas or Crimb Limbo time of year; aka no booze, no food, no biscuitty and definitely no sweety items needed, I thought ahhha, will collect stamps from here.

    “Hello, could I have a pack of first class stamps please? (Knowing they don’t sell single stamps, just in a pack of four and only wanting one, then the remaining three ‘may’ come in useful at some point of the year ahead. That is, hoping I don’t misplace them over time, at home, which is highly likely!)

    “Sorry came the reply. We’ve run out of first class stamps”

    “Really? I wonder why that is then?” I said in a light hearted manner knowing full well the reason why.

    “Oh, it’s just because of the Christmas rush and folk wanting to make sure their Christmas cards and presents got there on time!

    “Oh, ok.” was my knowingly reply. I had already guessed that!

    “We do have second class stamps though.”

    “Ahh ok can I buy four second class stamps then please?”

    “Sorry, we only sell them in eights!” came the reply from a smiley customer service person.

    Dilemma. I only wanted one. Four was a lot really, but eight?…. When will I use seven more…decisions, decisions! (The older I get, the bigger the queue behind me I notice always forms when I have to ponder and discuss in my own head the pros and cons of any dilemma!)

    I could go on a mammoth multi shop trek trying to buy a pack of four first or second class stamps elsewhere, but really, for devilment, I thought, what the heck, let’s just buy the eight and then try to work out seven more things I will need to stick stamps on so they’re not wasted! And to add to the complications of second class stamps they will no doubt need to be posted at least a month in advance to match any delivery deadline I will have in future. It all gets more complicated as I go along.

    “Oh, go on then, a pack of eight will be good, thanks,” saying it with very little conviction in my voice.

    So, purchase made, card written, second class postage stamp attached and posted in the post box, well ahead of the recipient’s birthday, so much so, they will probably misplace the card I sent by the time their birthday arrives!

    Now, where’s a safe, memorable place to keep seven stamps?

    time for a-cup-of-T ( while I think)

  • Easter eggs in December?…eh?

    Leading up the the usual 25th December mad panic to buy a years worth of groceries to make sure there’s enough of everything for that one ‘supermarket closure’ day, I noticed there were a whole year’s worth of seasonal occasions available to buy.

    Still selling dwindling supplies of Halloween costumes and artefacts at now greatly reduced ‘buy-one-get-the-rest-free’ prices, all the usual Xmassy stuff now being slightly reduced in price as it’s ‘not quite Christmas day yet’ including sad looking Xmas trees which had already started giving up the fight and losing their own needle thingies which normally keeps them green looking through to New Year. Sun creams and Summer attire for that 2026 Summertime holiday not reduced in price, obviously!. Valentines day cards and gifts on a stand all on it’s own and, wait for it, ‘Easter Eggs ‘, yaay!

    So, thinking of the grandchildren, one ten and the other five years old, (and both believers) I thought, what a jest if Santa Claus could just deliver one Easter Egg to said recipients along with the usual snow capped mountain of presents they usually receive. I wonder what their reaction would be and would they question why Father Christmas would even think of providing an ‘Easter egg at Christmas? ‘

    Well, the usual whirlwind opening frenzy of presents took place faster than anyone had the chance to photograph or video it happening and to cap it all, the Easter egg opening had a comment…’ Yess!….an Easter Egg!’ yet no mention during or after that annual whirlwind event as to ‘why on earth would Father Christmas send me an Easter Egg for Christmas?’

    My job is done!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • Tiz the one in the red suit, very real!

    Father Christmas aka Santa Claus must be so confusing for children who don’t really understand what confusing means. There’s really only ‘one’ Father Christmas! Surely that’s correct?

    As Christmas approaches following dressing up evening on Halloween and being rewarded with a ton of sticky sweets for knocking on folk’s doors yelling ‘Trick or Treat’ at those who dare open their front doors. Then watching explosive sky bombs of all the colours of the rainbow and noises magically saying to the families below “Hey watch me as I light up the sky for you for a few seconds that’s just cost you £20.00 a time!

    And as soon as the last sparkler fizzles out and splutters it’s last fizzle in a nearby bucket of water, attention via grown ups then changes to decorating their houses and gardens with a multitude of ‘I can do better than you’ ornate Christmas lights from 6th November onwards as their thoughts of forthcoming Christmas time looms.

    Now, not being anti Christmas whatsoever, yet children believe in Father Christmas who secretly invades our homes in the middle of the night all around the world very very early on Christmas morning to leave presents for those who take part, to open on Christmas morning and that’s wonderful! ( Father Christmas is a kind of anti burglar, so to speak!)

    Children’s faces light up as they see the humungous amount of presents he’s carefully positioned under the pristinely decorated and lit up Christmas tree with each present carefully labelled and hand written by a parent, guardian, relative, ensuring that the correct present ends up beside the right household member, including any pets to open up following the distribution operation is completed. In a child’s mind it must be quite amazing to think that Father Christmas has the ability to write every label just like their parents, guardians and relatives write. Never challenged or questioned, just an amazing feat from the little big guy in a red suit and oversized overly fluffy white beard!

    Yet how confusing must it be for the believing child as Christmas approaches.

    There’s only one Father Christmas. Spends all year with his elves sorting through lists of children’s wishes where they are busy all year round making toys and gifts including the latest mobile phones, so very clever, and all from a workshop at the North Pole and all ready to be delivered to everyone around the world early on Christmas morning whilst everyone’s asleep. Magical, yes, truly and never challenged or questioned, so it can’t be confusing for a child?

    Thoughts inside a child’s mind with the forthcoming excitement knowing that the one and only most important person in their life at Christmas time who brings tons of presents will do so on time, on schedule, no delays and most importantly invisible. It just happens. It just does!

    So how does a child interpret the ‘Meet and Greet’ sesh Father Christmas usually does, in the lead up to Christmas? Why would he do that when he’s supposed to be overseeing mass toy production on an off-the-scale measure? Surely he knows what all children wish for as he’s magical and clever? And when each child ‘explains again’ as they’ve  already written him a letter of what they want, how on earth does he remember it all? Has he got a direct elves hot line to pass all the information on or requirements per child? And how does he know where every child lives as he never asks for their address?

    Even more so, how does a child feel seeing Father Christmas riding round a local estate where they live, on a trailer type float being pulled by a clapped out transit van chugging out diesel fumes directly into Father Christmas’s white beard and face with ‘Jingle Bells’ hammering out through over-volumed reverberating loud speakers and shouting “Merry Christmas” to anyone who dares to open their doors to watch him ‘float’ by? You’d have thought he would just be 24/7 working towards his deadline with no time to spare.

    How did the children cope when at a local ‘Meet and Greet’ sesh where very long queues built up and the organiser had to apologise infront of all adults with their excited children saying “I’m so sorry for the delays today, one of the Father Christmas’s phoned in sick!” Eh, I thought there was supposed to one be one?

    So how do young children cope with Father Christmas anomalies which crop up towards Christmas. In a very grown up way by being very dismissive as the actual event of the arrival of Father Christmas far outweighs any preconceptions that he’s more than one person. Yet they don’t challenge it, don’t question it and maybe just accept it all as if they were to mention it, the truth may come out and all that magicalness will dissolve away!

    So, the big event arrives and with a whirlwind of mayhem it’s done and dusted. Presents opened, toys being played with. ” Thank you Father Christmas!…. When’s dinner? I’m hungry!”

    now time for a cup-of-T

  • “Ding Dong..Ding Dong…bang bang bang”

    Yes..the delivery person arrives.

    The usual, overzealous and repeated door bell ringing followed by the “bang bang bang” on the door with either their fist (which must be really sore at the end of a 160 usual parcel delivery day) or their tracking phone which must be made of some totally indestructible material or a small rubber mallet they keep on their person. I sometimes think of the eventual damage affect it’s having on the front door?

    And even being in over zealous mode awaiting my arrival to it from the inside…I really can only go at one speed nowadays..aka, slow. I’m fact I feel the more over zealous they are the slower I become!

    “Hi there” I say, as I open the door trying to look the delivery person in the eye, whilst looking at the parcel being delivered and also acting discreetly, a bit like a curious giraffe (whatever one of those looks like) twisting my ‘short’ neck trying to scan the door for any obvious delivery door damage so I can pounce and say “have you done that to my door?”

    But before I could really get beyond the “hi” bit the delivery person said, ” Sorry I’m a bit late.” “That’s ok” I replied, knowing that the timing of the delivery was well within the two hour time framed delivery slot.

    “Only, there was no house number on the parcel, just the street name. So had to call my boss who looked into it and after a while told me the house number”

    “Aww that’s fine” I replied, “And thank you for taking the time to look into it and more so finding the right house number.” I was really quite impressed.

    As the parcel was scanned with the ‘indestructible tracking machine,’ I casually commented that it wasn’t a problem that the parcel had no house number, as the house has it’s own house number emblazoned on it, so it would have been easy to find.

    With that, there was this few seconds pause after my comment had been expressed and I could hear the cogs whirring like an old clapped out machine as the information received was being processed.

    As the penny dropped, the delivery person just had that light bulb moment like the one when the microwave eventually ‘pings’ and commented in a dead pan way, ” Well, yeah you do have a house number on the door, but that doesn’t really help me when there’s none on the parcel.”

    Hmmm, I thought and exclaimed in a really positive way, ” Ahh, you’re so right!” ……hmmmm

    Time for a cup-of-T

  • The scales lie…you can’t blame Christmas… Christmas says it’s New Year’s fault!

    Every Friday evening I weigh myself just to keep a check on my weight.

    Every Christmas it increases …I get that.

    Last Friday I had put on a couple of pounds in weight over Christmas week..that’s ok..can accept that.

    Sneakily though without me realising it….New Year decided it would lump a load of weight onto me…why New Year?… Why did you do that to me?

    Ok….so here comes two months of hard work to make it all melt away!

    Halt the biscuits..drink more ‘cups of T’

  • January the what?…5th?

    Well, we are well into January already, going so…..what?…… it’s only the 5th today….so there’s 26 days left to go?… Eh?… How can that be…..feels like we are already in the third week and Christmas just past seems so long ago!

    It’s going to be a long month…I can tell that already!

    What?….. You sure it’s still only the 5th?

  • Blending the days

    A Christmas break from the regularity of the usual Monday to Friday working week, I found (as I usually do find and no doubt will continue to find in the future) that the days all just seem to be as one.

    As I previously wrote, I really lose track of which day we are on and what the date is (yes the usual Christmas, Boxing and New Year’s days dates and the month I know) yet it’s as if it doesn’t really matter over the Christmas break period.

    I don’t really find the same issue if on a holiday for a week or two..I know the day and date as I trundle along with my holiday daily journey, it’s just a different feeling over the Christmas break. I just don’t know why and really, I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s as if ‘me’ has stopped, to sit on the Christmas break and then afterwards…. click…. Back to it… the regularity of daily life.

    So I feel that over the Christmas break, certainly for the one at the end of 2024, my new day (which covers the whole of my Christmas break period) I proudly named:-

    “MonTuesWednesThursFriSaturSunMonTuesWednesThursFriSaturSun”…day

    At 66 years old, at some point I will give up work, then maybe then all my days will be blended together as life will become one long break and and one long blended day..month..year!

    After 51 years of working (as at the end of 2024) I will at some point look forward to it… But not just yet as I journey through 2025!

  • So, not everybody likes mince pies!

    I do!

    Always have.

    Can’t wait for Christmas time to look around and buy some new.

    Too many I buy, I know.

    Hoping that family will have some with me when they visit.

    They don’t.

    Then can’t stand ’em.

    So, I end up eating them all myself.

    Greedy I know, even more so when I see the short use by date and start having them for breakfast….well….there is fruit in them so the mince pie counts as being healthy, doesn’t it?!

  • Christmas period ???day

    I always find that through each year I know which day of the week it is, which month it is and most times, which date of the month it is. Even away on a holiday, I cope with knowing. All probably because I am structured with my gardening business then specifically holidays which are semi organised into daily routines.

    So how come, when I get to Christmas Day and Boxing Day, yes I know they are in December and they are 25th and 26th respectively, but I haven’t got a clue which day of the week they have just been on! So all I see it as Christmas Dayday, then Boxing Dayday!

    Now this morning is obviously the day after Boxing Dayday, but although I can easily think ‘yes it’s the day after Boxing Dayday so it must be the 27th’, I’m really struggling to think of which day of the week it is! I know it’s a ‘me thing’, and it doesn’t really matter, just find it peculiar that all year round I can cope until Christmas ‘forget-me-days’ come around again!

    Update……

    ….ahhh…..how strange!….. Just reading that there is a specific period after Christmas Dayday/Boxing Dayday….which is known as ‘twixmas’ or ‘Crimbolimbo’ and as such I feel much better as it’s not just a ‘me’ thing ..it’s and everybodyme thing…cool!

    And folk saying that they have lost track of what day it is as it’s not important as one day ‘drifts’ into another and they all get ‘blended’ together!

    How lucky I am not to have to go to work anymore ( if I choose not to)….although my fear is that one day when I do finally hang up my gardening gloves for good and close my gardening business then everyday will just ‘blend’ together. Probably have to be called my ‘twixyear’ or ‘Yearbolimbo’ or something!