Telstales

Tag: me

  • Did I say too much?

    Visiting an elderly customer, Sam, been doing his garden for four years now, every fortnight all year round, I said the usual “hi” to him and after a short chat carried on working.

    Sam used to live in a large detached house and after his wife died and as the years rolled on, Sam just felt the house was too big for just himself, so he downsized to a small detached bungalow.

    His garden is fairly simple, small front lawn with bits of artefacts laid out in specific places, the same can be said for the rear garden too, albeit in the rear garden, beyond the lawn there are planted up borders which wrap around the perimeter fence lines and are filled with colourful plants throughout the year and giving varied gardening for me to do on each visit.

    Now, a while ago in another bungalow nearby, and after being helpful by doing a few DIY jobs, Sam became friendly with a lady, Betty, who lived on her own.

    They really are a great match and hit it off straight away, so much so that they developed a friendship in their elderly years, which is lovely to see such friendship and companionship spending time together, helping each other in their own houses, going shopping, eating out, visiting family and having several grand holidays together each year. Although, must say, they do live in their own bungalows, probably still needing their own space and semi-independence.

    And Sam soon introduced me to Betty and I became her gardener too, extra work for me!

    Now I’m always busy in folk’s gardens, never been a slacker, I charge by the hour as there are lots of different gardening tasks to do on each visit, I tend to keep chit-chat to a minimum, always conscious that the customer is paying for my time.

    Yet, it’s always good to talk and being friendly is a part of me and my gardening approach.

    So, my route always takes me from Sam’s garden onto Betty’s, the next stop. On my last visit, Sam was sat there in his conservatory, chilling out in a reclining chair, reading the newspaper, drinking a cup of tea and eating biscuits. I said “hi Sam and how are you today?” “Fine thanks” came the reply, “just taking a day off, resting, putting my feet up and having a whole day to myself doing nothing”.

    “Well, that’s a grand way to spend your day, enjoy the sunshine, oh and your tea and bikkies!” And with a few other comments about his garden and what I was there to do, I carried on working and noticing that after my noisy mowing and edging had finished and my quieter manual gardening tasks were underway, Sam had drifted off to sleep. So on my finishing I quietly walked away without disturbing him. Afternoon naps must be a super way to chill out!

    Onto Betty’s garden. Smaller front and back garden than at Sams, yet takes just as long mainly due to the back lawn holding various statues and other artefacts strewn around the lawn which kind of makes me dizzy when I mow it. Very intricate and difficult to mow, edge the lawns and clean up without knocking one of the said artefacts over. Still, it’s work and income so I don’t complain and like the challenge!

    Betty appeared as I ventured into the back garden. “Hi Betty, and how are you today?” Betty does get engrossed in conversation and it is quite hard after a couple of minutes chat to break free without appearing rude and me sliding into the conversation that I must ‘crack-on’ as I’ve more gardens to do today, seems to wash over her, it just doesn’t connect with me being busy.

    However in the brief chat she asked if I had called to Sams yet?

    “Oh, yes” was my reply, “looks like he’s just having day to himself, sitting in his reclining chair, reading the newspaper, drinking tea and eating biscuits and saying he was just having a day off to the point that he had fallen asleep whilst I was working there!…. Bless him!”

    “Bless him?….Bless him?” she bluntly replied, “he said he had a busy day today doing housework, washing, drying and ironing his clothes and really just too busy at home to do anything together today.”

    I just looked at her as she was looking more confused as she was speaking realising that maybe her friend Sam wasn’t quite as busy today as he had made out to be!

    And the penny dropped in my head that without realising it, maybe I had just said ‘a little bit too much’ and maybe just caused a problem of a non-gardening type!

    On finishing Betty’s garden I realised that her car was no longer on her driveway. I wonder where she went to?!

    now for my own cup-of-T

  • Three wasp whammi

    I’m not really afraid of bugs, insects and stingy thingys generally, kinda goes with the territory of my gardening business coming into close/very close contact with nature each day.

    Yet, I don’t care much for wasps. (Although, total respect for them)

    I’ve been told that if they land on you and you stay still they just mooch around your body then think….nah, nothing much going on here, so they fly away quite happily!

    That is, until they get just a little bit more aggressive. Was it something I did?.. hmm, probably!

    It wasn’t my fault, just a natural reactionary reaction!

    It wasn’t even during my working day.

    Just sat there minding my own business, one wasp decide to use my nose as it’s landing pad. Did I see it coming?.. nope. It just did it in a split second. Stay still?…. Nope!…react like an out of control wind mill?…ohh yes!

    In that split second that it had landed and my brain had computed what had happened….My hand in all my arm flapping motions knocked it off my nose, luckily without causing a nose bleed (whammie 1)…. Only to instantly realise I had knocked it off onto my arm when it was hanging on, from which my windmill arms realigned, I knocked it off again (whammie 2) only then to realise it had landed on my leg. Shrieks of bad language, from me, not the wasp, had me flailing about as I knocked it off again again (whammie 3)

    Angrily, the wasp (and me by now) whizzed around zipping and darting infront of me, and to my horror, two of its waspy mates had now turned up, presumably to join in with the fun, so I did an ‘exit stage left’ moment, like a coward, and hid indoors.

    Thinking it through afterwards, maybe I should just have stayed still when it first landed on my nose, but just had a vision of it crawling up one of my nose pipes and delivering a lil stingy thingy up there!

    I don’t care much for wasps! And I certainly didn’t care for an inflated and really sore nose pipe!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • The power of ‘on hold’

    I currently have 31 customers who’s gardens I maintain. As I’m now 66 and a half, and a bit more, I’ve reduced down from 40 customers to 31 over time and I guess I can twiddle with those numbers if required.

    Maybe it’s a semi-retirement phase I’m heading towards but reducing the numbers a little has given me just a bit more ‘me’ time and why not!

    My 31 customers have always paid promptly which I thank them for! Apart from one this year.

    Now I know this customer is very busy. Still eats though. Drives a car and must pay bills for that. Pays electric and phone bills or wouldn’t be able to check in and update their FB page daily. So why not pay me for the gardening I’ve done?

    My gardening arrangements have always been loose and friendly, never wanting to be authoritarian about it, let’s face it, will never be more than a ‘micro business’ and if it all went wrong, well nothing much lost overall. Yet, my work, generates an invoice after maintaining each garden. And each invoice equals my income which I track and reconcile methodically so I can see at a glance who has and hasn’t paid!

    I don’t mind it taking a while to pay me, folk do get busy, on holiday, forget to pay, all being genuine reasons for non payment, to a point. So I monitor carefully and after a while send a courteous reminder about the bills when they haven’t paid.

    Well, with this non paying customer, April, May and June went by (courteous reminders sent) and all the work I had done there and invoices generated resulted in no payments made. I had got to the point where I thought maybe they were in hospital or even worse and no one had told me! Even with my gardening detective head on looking in their wheelie bins to notice nothing in them at all…lead me to think the worst.

    Gardens grow so I knew I had to keep visiting on my regular frequency basis or would become hard work to put back as it needed to be. So through April, May and June kept their garden maintained. But following a visit at the start of July and with another invoice raised and no payments made, I just felt enough was enough!

    Deciding to up the tempo and turn the ‘screw’ a bit, my email had the title “Gardening on hold” in bold type face.

    And explaining, with the appropriate invoices and outstanding payments displayed in my email, that until all payments were made that I was putting gardening at their place “on hold”…..and….within one hour of me sending this email, resulted in a full payment and sincere apology!

    The power of ‘on hold’ certainly worked for me and although not something I wanted to do, really had an instant effect!

    time for a cup-of-T

  • Water, water, everywhere

    created Monday 21st July 2025

    So at long last we have rain and rain oh and thunder and lightning accompanied by, yes, more rain.

    We needed it. Apart from the minimal amount for the last four months or so there really hasn’t been any rain here in North Yorkshire and as the reservoirs are lower than usual we have recently encountered a hosepipe ban.

    So over the weekend and today.. “Rain..Rain..Rain”…”Bring it on” I say. But, it’s just so much, far too much in one go. I was looking out over my garden during the daily deluges, which soon flooded over the lawn and onto the adjoining paving with roof guttering unable also to cope with the volumes. I’m really not complaining…. We need a heck of a lot more but it’s a start.

    And visiting my customer’s gardens today, the soil was basically dry to touch, yes, puddles in dips along pathways yet lawns and soil borders in a condition that you really wouldn’t have thought such a weekend deluge had taken place!

    So usual gardening continued as required without even getting muddy wet! YaY!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • OMG.. confusion reigns

    So as you are aware, I have my own gardening business. I’m 66 and well over a half now..still working..and why not.. while I can….I should.

    But, I’ve decided to ‘prune’ it back slightly by working just four days a week, and taking Fridays off ( if I can)

    And .. it’s so confusing….( Maybe it’s cuz I’m just getting a tad bit older)….

    Yaaay.. Friday off.

    But as I progress through the day doing what I enjoy…aka gardening in my own garden for a change ( oh my..I do need to get a life 🤣), I start to get confused and by the afternoon..as I’m off, and not working in folk’s gardens….I tell myself it’s Saturday….which in turn brings it’s own problems in that when Saturday comes I think it’s Sunday!

    And it gets worse when Sunday comes.. it then becomes the eighth day of the week.

    Soo soo confusing.

    I really don’t know how folk cope with shift work!

    Maybe a five day working week is easier for me to cope with!…as long as it’s Monday to Friday inclusive!

    now for a cup-of -T

  • Automatic means mayhem to me!

    So, I love doing recycling.

    It all helps, reduce, reuse, recycle.

    Here in Selby North Yorkshire we have four big wheelie bins for the rubbish which is collected on a revolving weekly/ fortnightly basis.

    One week it’s non recyclable stuff ( BOO….it should all be recyclable but single use plastic is a BOO from me) and once collected is repeated every fortnight thereafter.

    Then the exciting second week “recycling” collection kicks in, a little bit more complicated. On one of the fortnight’s it’s Green bin for garden waste and Brown bin for cardboard and paper. ( Oh my….how much cardboard waste is produced in a fortnight!). Then the following fortnight’s collection would be Green bin for garden waste and Blue bin for glass, cans and plastics.

    What a great collection service we have here, we are luckier than in other parts who use stupid little plastic crates and containers for cardboard glass, tins and plastics, which on a windy day end up on the other side of town when you go out to retrieve the ’emptied’ containers!

    Anyways, the glass, cans, plastic bottles and cardboard recycling process starts in the kitchen. We have a multi bin there so two smallish bins are for recyclables, the third, for the BOO waste which goes to landfill or incineration after collection.

    Now here’s the bit….it’s the process of taking two full bins of recyclable stuff from the kitchen and placing it into the correct Blue or Brown bin….it’s impossible for me!

    I’m no good at working on any form of production line type of work. Now if family did as asked of the two recyclable waste bins in the kitchen, which had one containing only cardboard the other holding glass, tins and plastic, then the emptying into the ‘outside’ bins would be a doddle.

    But nope.

    So my two indoor kitchen bins meet up with the outdoor big bins and as it’s always now mixed recyclables I have to pick each item out and chuck into the correct Blue or Brown bin preventing contamination from ‘wrong product in wrong bin’… Simple really…nope! Well, not for me. Maybe it’s repetition, although in my gardening business and work there is a lot of repetition which I cope with admirably.

    However, even this two to three minutes selection of right waste right bin so confuses me. With big bin lids open (obviously) and holding the kitchen bin with one hand I dip in, pull out an item…cardboard…ahh plastic bottle…ahh glass bottle…cardboard, cardboard…. plastic bottle. Simple..nope, as I dip further in seeking out the next item.

    I get so into my ‘automatic’ mode I don’t even look where my hand holding an item is being chucked into which bin. I know where the bins are. I tell my brain “cardboard to the right, glass, plastic and tins to the left” as I chuck the waste into the big bins. So, what interference gets in the way of this so simple process?….

    Completed easily, look in big bins and, nooo, it’s all mixed up. Somehow I’ve forgotten which goes where and started chucking all the items into the wrong bins….ending up with mixed recycling in each big bin…. Soo frustrating. Looking in each big bin now just looks like a bigger version of where it all started in the kitchen!

    So as these big bins are about four foot tall….I have to lie them on their side kind of climb in seek wrong recycling and rectify…. I bet the Government don’t even realise the lengths I go to to make sure it’s right!

    But it’s the automatic production line approach…well..in this instance is just not for me!

  • It’s me and it’s an age thing…I think!

    It’s easy.

    It’s just a case of removing the battery from the cordless hoover (10% charge left), and replacing it with the charged spare battery.

    So, almost drained battery away from the hoover and replacement one fitted.

    Yep, the battery charge levels flashing away on it’s charger like it’s consuming a huge meal.

    Hmm, as the cordless hoover fires up, oh, 10% charge left on the replacement battery too!…. Nooo, how have I not charged up the battery when it needed charging last time?….. That’s the process I stick to every time. Drained battery off, charge it up again ready for next time. Simple process. And charged battery back onto hoover.

    So wandering back to the charger where the previously charging battery was flashing away, I noticed it had eaten all it’s electricity it could and was fully charged. “Woah, that was quick this time, usually takes a couple of hours, not the three minutes that had just passed”… Then of course, the proverbial ‘penny’ drops…’Clunk’

    Now, how on earth have I managed the mix up the uncharged verses the charged batteries up?…. Yes they are identical but heck the uncharged one went straight into the charger and the charged one is taken out of a storage box and fitted back on the hoover. It’s such a simple process, it just can’t go wrong!… But this is me…yep it can, does and will continue to in my life’s challenges that come along!

    Anyways, I do enjoy a good hoovering sesh, hoping it is my house I’m hoovering in, as you never know!

  • Ahhh H2O…pleased to meet you?

    Well, here in North Yorkshire it’s been dry..very dry indeed. No rain here for many months with the threat of hosepipe bans being mentioned by the ‘leaky rich’ water company who administer our Chlorine/ Fluorine tasting water, oh, gosh I really do hate the taste, but necessary to keep myself hydrated!

    So, I’m so glad this May Bank holiday sesh is laden with rain. I took part in ‘no Mow May’, oooh and also in April, March, and of course February as the continuing dry spell prevented my lawns from growing. ‘No Mow May’ should have been relabelled ‘No Grow May!’

    Yellow could easily be the new green for grass colour!

    Yet as I’m trundling around my customer’s gardens searching for weeds to oyk out they still insist on me cutting their lawns.

    “But they’re in resting mode and gone all yellowy-brown” I say to them which falls away as they insist on me cutting deadened blades of grasses. I really think they just like the stripes the mower creates to give that manicured cut. It’s just a change in colour of their lawns from deep green to straw yellow!

    Still, some rain will be welcomed everywhere and certainly bring with it the growing and refreshing of lawns, ooh and a resurgence of weeds to their borders!

    Let’s see what next week’s gardening has in-store (or straw) for me!

    now for a cup-of-T

  • Shhhh…you woke me up

    So it was 3.20pm yesterday afternoon (or 15.20 in metric time!) and completing the initial strim round of two lawns in one of my customer’s gardens, I returned to my van to replace my ‘battery’ operated strimmer ( quite a quiet bit of kit) for my ‘petrol mower ( lot more noisier piece of kit!)

    I was greeted, as I was doing this turnaround, by the lady next door who suddenly decided to wipe over her window ledge (seemed to me like an excuse to be out there) as she turned to me and said…

    ” Do you know that you’ve just disturbed my afternoon nap with that thing?” ( I was hoping that she was talking to me and not my strimmer!)

    Now normally comments like like make me decide….

    -ignore it

    -comment back flatly

    -reply with an edge to it

    -engage in discussion mainly about the glorious weather day we were having

    -reply pleasantly

    …..I chose just to be pleasant.

    Then I thought, should I really have been pleasant?…. Well, yes if course I should, but it’s the middle of the afternoon not the middle of the night, I’m busy working and this neighbour has chosen to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon and just made me think, noise can be annoying to folk, yet things do need to get done at times (this garden takes half an hour once per fortnight!)

    In the end, in a light hearted manner, I just said, “oh, I’m sorry, it must be really nice to have an afternoon nap. And if my strimmer hadn’t woken you up then I’m sure my big mower would have!…. It’s really really noisy!

    Strimmed, mowed, brushed up (presumably my hand held, non motorised wooden brush would probably caused her distress too), quick chat with my customer and disappeared into the late afternoon returning home shortly after thinking, shall I grab some lunch or just take ‘my own’ afternoon nap, hoping no one disturbs me!

    now for a cup-of-T

    ( or maybe another nap later on!)

  • Happy Eater….

    Yes, I spelled Easter wrong but in reality, right!

    I don’t do Easter eggs, maybe I’m too old for that or they are just too expensively hyped up for that once a year gorging session whereby you feel really queasy after troughing through three and onto that fourth chocolate egg in 30 minutes as you realise the sell by date was 18th April!

    So, instead, I just eat, no, not the online ‘click-a-meal-delivery-in-ten-minutes’ thingy. I just over consume my way through the Bank holiday weekend.

    Because I can, and knowing fully, that all my consumptions will be burned off as I re-engage doing my favourite thing ‘gardening’ for my customers on Tuesday!

    Happy Eater!

    now for a cup-of-T….. (and some chokkie bikkies of course!)